If real life was a romantic comedy, your relationship would be something like this: The last sweet encounter would make you look into each other’s eyes and know in your soul that you are the One from the first “Hello” onwards. Cut to a montage of baking together (with flour obviously spilled all over the kitchen), sunset walks, holding hands, and maybe a tandem bike ride or two. Unsurprisingly, real-life dating and relationships tend to be a little less cinematic. The early stages of relationships are difficult to navigate, but they can also determine or destroy the longevity of your romance

Focus on the present, not the past

It’s natural to bring your fears and negative experiences into a new relationship; After all, it’s a coping mechanism to keep your heart from getting broken again. But while old fears and insecurities can prevent heartbreak, they can also keep you from being truly happy in a new relationship. For example, if a previous partner was unfaithful to you; don’t be suspicious of your new partner just because the relationship was. Focus on the qualities that set your new partner apart. If he’s trustworthy enough so far, that means you should trust him.

While the “dating history” conversation will be important over time, don’t rush it. Spend first dates learning about your partner’s likes, dislikes, dreams, and personality traits as they learn yours. There’s no need to explain what went wrong in your last relationship on a first date or find out anything about dating before you know your siblings’ names and where they grew up.

Talk about the future from the start

While you shouldn’t focus on the past, you should at least focus a little on the future

how many kids they want before the salad plate arrives on the 1st date, but you don’t want to wait until after a year of dating to find out that you never want to get married if the marriage is non-negotiable for you. It’s not always fun to talk about things like life goals, religion, marriage, politics, etc., but of course, incorporate your deal-breakers into the conversation to make sure you’re at least on the same page once you’re on the right page the same page as I begin to see a future

Whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship or a more casual fling, bring it across.

The relationship is the person with whom we are in a relationship. When you focus so much on being happily ever after, you risk categorizing other people to whom they don’t belong (or don’t want to belong). ) or force a spark. You overlook failures or red flags

Because your mind has already convinced itself that this has to work. Instead, take your partner at face value. Suppose you are not the chosen one. Would he still be someone he wanted to spend his time with? If you enjoy his company so much that you’d love to be with him whether he was the one or not, then you’re probably attracted to him, not just a relationship.

This should go without saying, but if you don’t feel comfortable talking about sexual health with your partner  then you’re not ready to be intimate (or maybe it’s not someone you should be intimate with). Talk about what you like, what you don’t like, and what you’re comfortable with (or not) while listening to them non-judgmentally. Oh, and don’t forget that the “right time” for intimacy is different for every couple (the hell with the “three date rule” or any other bullshit guideline), and remember that only one partner who feels smart isn’t enough.